As Long As You're Mine
by LambertFan
Summary: Shayne Ely is a twenty-one year old who has experienced more than many in her short lifetime. But everything changed when she got a job at Upright Cabaret. Adam Lambert/Shayne Ely. M for Mature Themes
1. Chapter 1

"You can't always get what you want." I sang, angrily strumming my guitar, causing people to swiftly walk by with their heads down. I'm used to this by now. It's been weeks since anybody has looked me in the eye, let alone drop any loose change in my guitar case.

I sat down on the curb and stopped playing. I can't complain, I did this to myself. Running away at thirteen to try to "make it" in Los Angeles, I've hardly got by. Selling myself for prostitution to get meals, clothing, and a place to stay.

But that was then. Now, I'm twenty-one and I am much smarter. I cut out meals for a week or so and bought myself a second-hand acoustic guitar. Now, here I sit on a curb on Sunset, hoping to make enough money to get by.

But, I have had no such luck…every now and then someone drops a ten in my case, good enough to buy myself lunch, or a new guitar string. A place to live? No.

"Are you going to play?" I heard a voice say. I looked up. It was a tall man with a hoodie on. He had the hood up, aviator sunglasses on his face. He repeated his question. "So?"

"Oh, yes." I said, a little excited. "Any requests?"

"Hmm…" he said. I wish I could look him in the eye. "Eh, just play what you want."

"Okay.." I replied. Putting the guitar strap around my shoulder, I began strumming the chords to 'Hey Soul Sister' by Train.

As I played, the tall man just stood and watched. He seemed to be analyzing.

At the last chord, he placed a crisp $50 bill in my case and began walking away.

"Hey, you!" I called after him, thoroughly surprised at his donation. "Wait!"

But he had already jogged off, his iPod blasting in his ears. How strange…but, hey, I'm not complaining.

Picking up my guitar case, I couldn't help but think about the man. Pocketing the $50, I walked down Sunset to find a new place to play.


	2. Chapter 2

My prayers have been answered.

**Now Seeking: New Talent- To perform weekly anywhere between 5PM and 12PM- Hour long sets- Come on in if you want to apply**

I quickly walked into the restaurant. I looked around, seeing a bar in the back and a large, dimly lit dining area. At the front of the room was a small, raised stage with a piano and sound system. With lighting and a large screen like in concerts, the place was classy. Perhaps too classy for me…

"Can I help you?" a man asked me.

"Oh, no…no, thanks." I said, starting to walk out.

"Wait! Do you play and sing?" he asked, looking at my guitar case.

"Uhh.."

""Oh, c'mon, now. Nobody has auditioned for a job yet." He said.

"I don't know…" I replied.

"What have you got to lose?" he said, looking at my slightly tattered clothes.

I sighed. He was right. This could be the job to help me afford an apartment. I started taking my guitar out.

"Oh, no. Not here." The man said. He pointed to the stage. "Go up there, please."

I took a deep breath, weaved through the tables, and stepped up onto the stage.

Quickly flipping the 'OPEN' sign on the door around, the man made his way up to the stage. He helped me get set up and put a video camera on a tripod a few feet away from the stage.

"Okay, two songs, please. One upbeat, one ballad. Show me what you've got." He said, smiling, turning on the video camera.

Almost by instinct, I started finger picking the main riff of "Blackbird" by The Beatles. It really makes me think of my life. What I want to make of it, I guess.

"You were only waiting for this moment to arise." I sang, ending the song.

Some of the employees in the restaurant had joined the man at a table. They clapped as the man signaled me to proceed to my second song.

I broke into an acoustic version of "Brick by Boring Brick" by Paramore- a huge risk. I had just figured this song out a week ago, standing outside a music store. Perhaps it's a little juvenile for my age, but it's catchy.

Finishing the song with an improvised guitar solo, I said thank you into the microphone, voice shaking a bit.

The workers, including the man, were on their feet applauding. I smiled, flattered. The man walked up to the stage and held out his hand.

"My name is Chris Isaacson. Co-owner of the Upright Cabaret. I'd like to offer you a regular performing job. Would you be interested?"

I shook his hand, dumbfounded. Trying to keep my composure, I responded, "Yes, I am interested! Thank you so much."

"I'm sorry, I missed your name." Chris said.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said, quickly. "My name is Shayne Ely. Pleasure to meet you."

"You, too, Shayne. Okay, business talk." Chris continued, grinning ear-to-ear. "Here at Upright Cabaret we like to provide live entertainment for our diners. We have had people from Broadway, like Eden Espinosa, Lea Michele…American Idol's Adam Lambert used to perform here, too. Usually the talent we bring in has theater experience, but, you…you are definitely an exception. I can tell that you really live the music. A new, genuine artist is exactly what we were looking for."

I can't believe this.

"What time would be best for you? Day?" he asked.

"Any day, any time. I'm there." I replied.

"Fantastic! Flexibility is wonderful!" Chris exclaimed. "How about Tuesdays and Fridays…Tuesdays from 5-6. Fridays from 8-9?"

"I'll be here!" I smiled.

"Oh! Before I forget. Do you need the piano, too?" He asked me.

"I play a little." I replied, thinking of all the times I have gone to the music store and played until I got kicked out.

"Perfect. See you tomorrow around 4:30." Chris said, shaking my hand one more time and walking into the kitchen. A waiter walked over and flipped the sign on the door as new customers patiently waited.

Picking up my guitar, I leave the restaurant. Did all of that really happen?! I have a solid, set in stone gig. This is huge. Sitting down a few blocks away, I leaned against the wall of a rundown coffee shop and fell asleep dreaming of what my life is quickly becoming.


	3. Chapter 3

"Tonight I am pleased to introduce a new performer." I heard Chris tell the room from the back.

After a trip to the Salvation Army for clothes, the gym for a quick shower, and the music store for some new guitar picks, I think I'm ready…..I think.

"Shayne Ely!"

Guess I have to be.

"Good Afternoon, everyone." I said, smiling. There were two or three people at the bar. "I'm going to star this afternoon off with some Patsy Cline- 'Walkin' After Midnight'."

As I finished my set, the men at the bar started waving their lighters in the air. They had clearly had a little too much to drink in the past hour.

"Let's hear it for Shayne Ely!" Chris yelled, walking onstage. "Hey, good job, kid." He said to me.

"Thanks…" I said.

"Hey, don't worry about the crowd." He said. "The slot I gave you on Friday is the prime busy spot of the week." He winked. "Oh, by the way." He took his shoe off and put it onstage.

I gave him a questioning look.

"Here at Upright, it's a compliment. Just letting you know now. You'll need to know for Friday." He explained. "They're going to love you."

"Thanks." I responded. "I really hope so…"

As I started leaving, he touched my shoulder.

"Hey, Shayne?" I turned around. He looked serious. "I wouldn't have given you this job if I didn't think you deserved it. Knock 'em dead Friday."

* * *

The room is FULL. All of the tables. All of the bar stools. FULL.

"Shayne Ely!" Chris announced.

Taking a deep breath, I walked from the back to the stage.

"How's everyone doing tonight? Good?" I said. There were scattered answers. I smiled and continued. "okay, then, let's get started here. The first song I'm going to play is a fun way to thank someone for playful love." I laughed at my corny line with the crowd as I began playing "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson.

"Alright, guys, I'm taking a five minute break!" I said four songs later. Some 'boo's' rang out. "Ahh, I'll be back before you know it!" Applause rang out as the lights in the dining area were turned up.

Taking a quick look out before going to the back, somebody at the bar caught my eye. Those sunglasses….that hoodie…..It's the man from the street on Monday!

He turned his head and looked at me. Embarrassed, I turned, taking care to step over the shoes that have accumulated onstage, and went to the back.

Refilling my water bottle, I couldn't help but wonder why he looks so familiar to me. He's tall….pretty thin….but always wearing those sunglasses. I can't put a name to his face.

"Hey, Shayne, ready?" Chris asked, knocking lightly on the door.

"Yep." I answered, walking out behind him.

"Again, Shayne Ely!" Chris said happily.

"Alright, I'm gonna slow it down a little. This song is by a pretty young artist, but the lyrics speak with wisdom far beyond her years." I said, playing the beginning of 'Scars' by Allison Iraheta on my guitar.

_**Did I say something stupid. There goes one more mistake. **_

__The room erupted with applause. I hastily wiped tears from my eyes. 'Scars' always makes me think…

"One more, Shayne." Chris whispered to me from the side of the stage.

"Okay, everyone, here comes my last song of the night." I said, causing 'awh's' to ring out throughout the restaurant. I set my guitar on its stand and walked over to the piano. "This last song is by one of my favorite artists, Stefani Germanotta. She is better known as Lady Gaga. This is 'No Floods'."

_**In a world unknown you've gotta hold your own.**_

__At the end of the song, I closed my eyes and took in all of the applause. I have really made it.

"Everybody, give it up one last time for Shayne Ely!!!!" Chris shouted, walking onto the stage. "Oh, and please form a line in an orderly fashion to pick up all of your shoes from the stage!"

"Thank you! Have a nice night!" I said, grabbing my guitar and going to the back. I can't believe this is all happening. My head kept reeling as I put my guitar away.

"Hey, great job tonight." A voice said behind me. I know that voice! Turning around, I see the man from the street standing in the doorway.

"Thanks." I responded.

"Would you like to join me at the bar? Drinks on me." The man said, smiling.

"Sure…." I replied. "But, wait….Who are you anyway?"

He quickly lifted the sunglasses form his eyes to reveal piercing, crystal-blue eyes. They were lined with smoky, black liner. I knew they could only belong to one person. The man grinned from ear-to-ear. "Hi, I'm Adam. Please just keep my identity on the DL. I want to be able to talk with you-free of interruptions."

I stuttered. "Oh, of course. Than-Thank you!"

I followed him back to the dining area and to the bar. He pulled out a stool and sat down in the stool next to it.

"Do you have any preference?" he asked me. I kind of shifted a bit in my seat. Adam laughed. "Beer, I mean."

I felt my face flush. "Bud Light."

He smiled and patted my shoulder. "Two Buds, please." He asked the barman.

The barman set a Bud Light in front of each of us on the counter. Adam turned to me.

"So, where'd you learn to play?" he asked me. "you really are a master with your hands."

I blushed. He's been at the bar all night, he must be tipsy. "I taught myself. I play by ear."

"Wow! Wow, wow, wow!" he replied, his eyes getting wide behind his sunglasses. He reminds me of a child at Christmas.

We kept talking. About music, drinks, random stuff. Four Buds later, we were babbling.

"You know what you HAVE to try?" Adam asked me, pointing at me drunkenly.

"What?!" I replied, wide-eyed with curiosity. I haven't been this drunk in years!

"OMG. AY! JIMMY! Couldya give us some shots of vodka?!" Adam called out to the barman.

Before we knew it, the barman was cutting us off. "Closing time, guys."

Adam slapped a few $50s on the bar and asked the man to call a cab. He then turned back to me, almost falling off of his stool.

"Do you want to come to my houseeeeee?" he asked me slowly.

"I thought you were GAY!" I replied, sending us both into ridiculous giggle fits.

"Cab's here, Adam." Jimmy the barman said to us.

"Oh, goodie! Thanks, JIMMY! Jimster…Jimbo…" Adam giggled.

"JIMMERSSSS!" I chimed in.

"So, are you COMING?!" Adam asked me, hands on his face.

"WHERE?!" I asked, looking around.

"To my houseee!! Mi casaaaa, seniorita!!" he said, laughing.

"OH! SURE!" I said, giggling and hugging him.

He fumbled with the door to the cab, causing us to laugh even HARDER. Finally opening the door, we got in.

"Where to, kids?" the cab driver asked us.

"We're going to ADAM'S HOUSE!" I said, all slurred.

"Lambert residenceeee!" Adam chimed.

"Well, I'm lucky the barman already called and gave me your address." The cab driver laughed.

Adam rested his head on my shoulder for a second. Then sat up straight and looked at me. He took off his sunglasses to reveal his crystal-blue eyes completely bloodshot.

"I want to make out with you." He slurred.

"I thought you were GAY though!" I said, slurring also.

He grabbed my face and our lips connected. The air in the cab immediately became humid. The connection broke. "I am curious about you."

My head reeled. All I could focus on was his face. His eyes boring into mine with lust. We started kissing again, our tongues dancing as one. His hand left my face and ventured down to my thighs. He groped his way inside my leggings, touching me only through my underwear. I moaned lightly, our lips never parting.

"I don't have a cock, if that's what you're looking for." I giggled through my moaning.

Adam laughed, but let his hand slip in between my skin and my underwear. He played with me relentlessly, causing me to moan even more.

"Okay, kids, hate to break this up, but we're at your destination." The cab driver said, trying to keep from laughing.

With one last flick of his hand, he removed it from my now hot skin. He removed his tongue from my mouth, but gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, a grin playing at his lips.

Adam gave him a $20. "Oh, trust me, sir, we are nowhere near our destination." Adam said, shooting a sly glance at me.

Opening the cab door, we both got out and stumbled to Adam's front door.

"Nice place." I said, leaning against the doorframe for support.

"Come in. Let me show you my room." Adam said, gesturing for me to follow him.

This will be a long night.


	4. Chapter 4

I shuddered as I stood outside Adam's door. How would he react? Would he be angry? Hurt? Worried?

Taking one last deep breath, I knocked on the door.

'Come in!" I heard Adam yell.

The doorknob felt frigid as I turned it and walked into the house. Adam happily stood up from his chair and gave me a big hug. I quickly backed away from him.

"Adam…we need to talk…" I said hollowly.

He looked at me with a concerned look. "Okay…. Everything alright, Shayne?"

"I'm late." I said, staring at the wall behind him.

His eyes became serious, desperately trying to lock with mine. "What….what do you mean."

My voice wavered. "My period…..is three weeks late…"

His features turned to stone.

"….I think I'm pregnant…" I said quietly.

He just looked at me with a blank expression

"…Adam?" I said, taking a shaky step toward him.

He lunged at me and took me by the shoulders. Pinning me against the wall, he got right in my face.

"Don't. Play. With. Me." He growled, anger and hate filling his voice.

"Adam, I-"

He slammed me against the wall again. "Don't say a fucking word!" he screamed. His voice echoed as it cut through the silence.

He continued slamming me against the wall as he screamed in my face. "Do you think this is funny? A fucking joke? There is so much going for me right now Too much to have some slut walk into my life and ruin everything."

He punched my shoulder.

"A fucking BABY?"

He kicked my shins.

"Are you being real, Shayne? Don't fuck with my head!"

He slammed me against the wall and got really close to my face.

"How could you do this to me."

He punched me hard in the stomach. After being so strong, I crumbled to the floor.

He sharply inhaled. "Holy shit, what have I done?" he said under his breath. Looking up, I saw him walk to the couch and collapse. His choked sobs filled the tense silence.

Fighting against the pain, I stood up and walked to the couch. Sitting down, I looked at him.

"When I was born…my parents didn't want me…"I started. "They wanted a boy…my real name is Shane Eli Mathis."

Adam didn't look up, but I knew he was listening.

"My parents resented me. They argued over who would watch me for the day…Who would put 'Shane' to bed…..Who would put 'Shane' on the school bus….They were raging alcoholics…Neither of them wanted anything to do with me…."

His sobs subsided. He kept his face in his hands.

"When I was ten, my little brother was born…the child they always wanted…" Emotion began to take over, but I fought to keep my voice steady. "After three years of blame, verbal abuse….I had to leave…I had big dreams. SO I stole my parents' money out of the vault behind their bed and took a bus from Colorado to San Francisco…I was thirteen."

I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head.

"After paying for the bus…food, water….I was out of money in two weeks..I didn't know what to do…But one day, I met a girl about three years older than me…She was crying and I asked her why….She said her parents had kicked her out and she had to sell her body to pay for food" I shuddered at the memory. "Prostitution….I sold myself for five years."

Adam gasped quietly.

"I have had four abortions….I don't agree with it…but I couldn't provide for myself…let alone provide for a child…For the past three years I have just made it by…after buying my guitar, I've lived off of it….the money people give me gets me my meals…sometimes I go a week without a real meal, but it's okay…I have gained so much strength these past few years…"

Adam shifted on the couch.

"This job…it's a miracle. I know what you mean when you say you have a lot going for you." I said, finally looking at him.

His eyes grew wide and he quickly looked down. "You talk to me like I didn't do anything to you…" Adam said, very ashamed.

"I know why people get rough, I guess…" I said.

Adam didn't respond.

"Do you think every person I sold myself to was kind and gentle?" I asked sharply. "Think again."

A tense air filled the room.

"When I was younger, I was always different…" Adam said quietly.

"I know your story, Adam. I have heard the news." I said, a little frustrated.

"Nobody knows my story." Adam said, the anger filling his voice again. He sighed. "I'm sorry….But just hear me out."

I shifted, wincing in pain. "Sorry…"

"It's just…my past makes me kind of…I don't know…I wish I could erase it….I know you feel that, too…The mask I put on my past for the press, though? Making my weight seem like the worst part….Ha….that's all bullshit…." Adam said, shaking his head.

"I've always known I liked guys…since I was a preteen…Leonardo DiCaprio…haha….One day, my dad caught me watching gay porn…as you know…but he didn't walk away and pretend he didn't see…." Adam took a deep breath. "He stormed over to me and pulled the plug on the computer…he slapped me hard across the face and asked me what the hell I was doing…"

My breathing stopped.

"…He grabbed my cock in his hand and roughly pumped his hand…up and down…he was screaming, asking me if that's what I fucking wanted….a man grabbing my cock and making me come….He did that until I had an orgasm, punch me in the mouth, and left the room.."

We sat in silence. "….I am so sorry…"

"That's in the past now…It's fine…but I have never forgiven my father…my mom found out he sexually assaulted and abused me when I was nineteen…going around the world on a cruise ship….so, she left him. My mom has always been my rock and supported me."

"….Your dad…he looked so proud on American Idol…"

"Fuck that." Adam said bitterly. "He came back for money. He gambled all of his cash away and expects me to help him…Ha, this coming from the bastard who wouldn't pay half of a $300 rent."

Despite the newfound information, I felt the tension in the room slowly ease.

"So….you're sure?" Adam asked, looking at me.

"I took a pregnancy test…I got one and went back to my apartment…" I said slowly.

"Oh, how is that, by the way…the apartment?" Adam asked.

"Fantastic." I said, picturing my home. It's only a small, one-room apartment, but it is more than I've had for eight years.

An awkward silence.

Adam turned to me and looked me in the eyes. Great fear with a twinge of amazement and happiness filled the look.

"Am I really going to be a father?"

I took a deep breath. "I want to keep this baby."

We continued looking at each other. He moved toward me, slowly but suddenly, causing me to flinch away.

"No, it's okay." He assured me. He gently placed his hand on my stomach. "I want to help you every step of the way. I want to love and raise this baby with you."  
My eyes stung suddenly with tears. Tears of happiness. Happiness because I finally had somebody who cared about me. For the first time in my life.


End file.
